The Truths

Truths I cannot speak out loud yet

I was raped

Consecutively, constantly

For three long years

Of psychological agony

I gave in to his manipulation

Because it felt good

To be loved and treated specially

And to have orgasms

Even if I squeezed a pillow

Over my face

To block out reality

And enjoy the sensations

 

Truths my brain cannot yet embrace

It was not my fault… any of it

Brain:

“It was partially your fault

You willingly went back to him

Every time he was there…”

You were manipulated

Brain:

“You weren’t even that young

You knew the difference

Between right and wrong

And this was definitely

WRONG…”

You were a child and a human

Not only

Were you in a vulnerable stage of development

But also

Your body responded naturally

Brain:

“You still willingly went to him

You had free will and you complied

You just wanted pleasure, you gluttonous pig…”

 

Truths I know in my heart

I am loved

I have value on this earth

I am valuable to humanity

I’m trying my best