A Constant Fantasy

Closing my eyes does not bring darkness

But regardless

It’s most crucial that I see

The images haunting me

I walk up to your door

Heart threatening to leave my chest

I knock with the best

Intentions in mind

Hoping you’ll give me the time

To speak honestly to you

It’s the least you could do

After all those years of inflicted wounds

 

You open the door a crack

And I’m on the verge of a panic attack

Seeing your face

Just like I remember

Brown and smooth like leather

Except now more weathered

I ignore the shock on your face

And glare deeply into your eyes

You WILL see me as a human

The soul you demised

 

And I tell you what you did

Remember when I was just a kid?

You subjected me to a life of manipulation

And through years of tribulation

Still, like air, I rise

I want you to see it in my eyes

I tell you you’re a monster

Your twisted lies

Saying you loved me

Then using me for your own pleasure

A pawn on your chest board

It was all your fault

None of it mine

 

I need to make this real for you

So this event that changed my life

Is more than just a shadow in your mind

I want to inflict wounds with my words

And tell you how I currently thrive

Motivated by the drive

To change people’s lives

Little girls like me

Who were deeply deprived

And violated through lies

 

If you feel no remorse

I’ll let nature run its course

One day I’ll speak on behalf of those

Who were violated and exposed

Who are too scared to disclose

The workings of demons like you

I know I need to do this

To make it all real for me too